A Women’s Refuge is like a big family
home or cluster of units. A refuge offers support, information and safe
accommodation for women, with or without children.
Who can go to a Women’s Refuge? Any single women or woman and her children who are being abused by their partner and/or family members. This abuse can be:
During your stay at a Women’s Refuge,
from a couple of days up to a few months, you should be assured of these
services:
What does it cost to stay at a Refuge? Most Refuges charge a nominal fee,
which varies between the Refuges. No woman or child should be denied access
to accommodation due to lack of income at the time of application.
Where are Women’s Refuges? There are 38 Women’s Refuges Services
in Western Australia – 20 in the country and 18 in the metropolitan areas,
including the Women’s Multicultural Support and Advocacy Centre (formerly
the Women’s Refuges Multicultural Service), refuges for indigenous women
and the Domestic Violence Children’s Counselling Service.
What is Domestic Violence? Domestic violence is one term to describe a range of abuses perpetrated upon a partner or spouse from a past or present intimate relationship. It is the misuse of power and the exercise of control by one person over the other. Domestic violence exists when there
is unequal power between partners. One partner, usually the man, exercises
his dominance by using a range of methods of abuse on the woman, which
results in keeping her in a state of powerlessness, helplessness and fear.
This state of powerlessness often results in significant and prolonged
effects on the woman and children.
Behaviours and Attitudes which Form Domestic Violence: Physical Abuse: including
direct assaults on the body, use of weapons, driving dangerously in the
car, the destruction of property, abuse of pets in front of family members,
physical assault of children, women being locked out of the house, and
sleep deprivation.
Sexual Abuse: may include
any form of forced sex or sexual degradation such as trying to make the
victim perform sexual acts against their will, pursuing sexual activity
without consent, hurting during sex or assaulting genitals, coercing to
have sex without protection against pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases,
criticising or calling sexually degrading names.
Spiritual Abuse: Examples
of spiritual abuse are: being denied access to ceremonies, land or family,
using religious or cultural tradition as a reason for violence; stopping
religious observance or making someone do something which is against their
own beliefs; insulting and denigrating a person because of their cultural
background.
Verbal Abuse: which
includes continual put downs, either privately or publicly being humiliated.
Verbal attacks focus on intelligence, sexuality, body image and capacity
as a parent and a wife.
Emotional Abuse: results
in the attribution of blame and guilt to women for problems in the relationship.
It includes constant comparisons with other women which impacts on victims’
self esteem and self worth. Emotional withdrawal, such as long periods
of silence which could continue for weeks, sporadic ‘sulking’ and withdrawal
of any interest and engagement with the partner are also included.
Social Abuse: Frequently reported forms of social abuse include the systematic isolation of women from family and friends. Techniques include ongoing rudeness by offenders to family and friends that gradually result in a reluctance to maintain contact. Other means of social isolation include moving to new towns or to the country where victims know nobody and are not allowed to go out and meet people. In some cases women are physically prevented from leaving the home and are ‘prisoners’ in their own homes. Economic Abuse: Exists
when the woman has limited or no access and control over the family income.This
may include taking her pay, not allowing her to have her own bank account,
preventing her from gaining employment, and giving her adequate amounts
of money for food, bills and
What are the effects of abuse? Whilst physical abuse is extremely traumatic and can be life threatening, it is the long-term emotional and psychological abuse which severely impacts on the woman’s ability to move beyond the abusive relationship. It may not be necessary for the man
to use physical violence very often to keep the woman in his control. The
enormous power of fear he instils in her from a range of abuses means he
can keep her in a constant state of fear.
Common Myths Surrounding Domestic Violence: Myth: Domestic violence affects a small percentage of women. Reality: Although accurate figures are hard to obtain, it is estimated that at least one in three women will suffer some form of domestic violence in their lifetime. Myth: She could leave him if she wanted to. Reality: Many women do leave. Many women try to leave on many occasions but repeatedly reconcile and return to the relationship for a variety of reasons. These reasons include: Fear of reprisal. Many women are subjected to threats of violence to themselves and their children if they leave. Within this myth is another which suggests that if she leaves the violence will stop.The Wallace Study of homicides in NSW found that 46% of spouse killings occurred when women had left, or were in the process of leaving, their partners. Emotional Dependence: Many abused women love their partner and are committed to the marriage. Many feel they should try and make the relationship work for the sake of the children. Some women stay because their partner threatens to kill them, or himself, if she leaves. Low Self-Esteem: The longer the woman is subjected to abuse the lower her self-esteem becomes until she doubts her ability to cope on her own. Isolation: Abused women tend to lose networks with family and friends over the term of the relationship, either due to their partners insistence or because the women try to hide their injuries and avoid probing questions. These women also tend to be unaware of services that are available to assist them. Financial Dependence: Without her own money and with reduced earning capacities women must suffer a substantial decline in their financial standard of living if they choose to leave. The pressure of sorting things out: When a woman chooses to leave an abusive relationship, generally she is the one to leave the family home. She must find accommodation and set up house, organise finances through social security, initiate legal action (restraining orders, custody and access, divorce), settle the children and deal with her own emotional and physical wounds. This would be extremely stressful for anyone, let alone a woman who has suffered enormous trauma over a period of years. For some women, leaving is just too hard. Myth: She provokes him – she deserves to be beaten. Reality: Violence is
never acceptable.
Myth: She must enjoy being beaten. Reality: There is no
evidence to support the myth that battered women are masochistic. This
myth simply transfers the blame to the woman. As outlined earlier there
are many reasons why women stay in violent relationships, masochism is
not one of them.
Myth: Violence is part of their culture. Reality: All women have the
right to live in safety and free from violence. Racism and racist attitudes
are the core of this myth.
Myth: Only those at the lower end of the economic scale beat their wives. Reality: It is recognised that
domestic violence occurs at all levels of society.
Myth: It’s the alcohol (or drugs or stress) that sets him off. Reality: Alcohol is present in about 50% of violent incidents. Alcohol abuse is used as an excuse for the violence, it is rarely the cause. Similarly is true for the use of drugs and stress.
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